my swallow

You heard such phrase "I can afford this!"
Of course you heard! Only it seems to me that we can hear this very and very seldom.
That's why when i've heard this phrase from my friend - i've reflected - when or in what occasion I can say that?
By the way I even can't have a proper sleep - i should wake up early, go for work and even on week-ends somebody will phone.
I tried to disconnect it - so someone calls at a door.
It is very seldom when nobody disturbs me - when I sleep, I can not get rid from the thought, that someone will prevent me. I have such kind of fear.
I can tell that can allow something for myself, is when i am at the wheel. I can drive how I want.  I have no Porsche or the Jaguar, but on my Subaru I really drive how I like.
It occurs in the city and out of it. Not in a congestion of course.
It congestion i should go like everybody.
In such situations i have a thought, why my "swallow" does not fly?!
What a happiness to do what you desire!